Review of a Movie that Doesn’t Exist – Kill Me With Love

It’s time for another review of a movie that doesn’t exist. This time, it’s the next logical leap from paranormal romance, slasher movie romance.

Kill Me With Love is the tale of Suzy Fodder, a busty college student on a road trip, who finds herself stuck with on a deserted highway in the middle of nowhere after her car’s engine overheats, all four tires go flat and the gas tank springs a leak. Suzy is forced to walk to the nearest town, but at least she has the company of a chainsaw wielding maniac who keeps trying to carve her arms off.

At first, Suzy isn’t too thrilled by her new companion and spends a great deal of time running as fast as she can while trying to get cell reception. But after a while, she gets curious about her pursuer and tries to engage him in conversation. He’s reluctant at first and just waves his chainsaw around whenever Suzy stops running and attempts to speak, but eventually she wears him down and they travel together, learning about each other’s hopes and dreams.

Suzy tells of her dream of finishing school and becoming a pro wrestler, while the maniac (whose name turns out to be Doug) reveals his desire to start a line of clothing crafted from the flesh of his victims. As time goes on, the two grow to love one another, culminating in a scene where they consummate their passion in Doug’s lair, gently making love under a dozen hanging bodies.

I didn’t think I’d enjoy the movie, but it actually turned out to be quite good. Suzy and Doug make a perfect couple and I hope there will be a sequel, where the two have settled down and have a family. Suzy would complain that Doug spends too much time ogling and killing other women, while Doug would feel that Suzy’s wrestling career is taking her away from him.

*Chainsaw courtesy of http://ravenarcana.deviantart.com/art/Chainsaw-1-PSD-160840694