Here’s my latest review of a movie that doesn’t exist.
Title: Bobby the Freak
Genre: Comedy
Cast:
Bobby Malone – CGI version of Wayne Newton
Grace Malone – Julie Newmar
Jack Malone – Paul Reiser
Della Vance – Scarlett Johansson
The movie, Bobby the Freak, tells the story of Bobby Malone, a strange twenty-something man who wears odd clothing and collects dead bugs. His parents, Grace and Jack, don’t know what to do with him, so they send him off to “Camp Freakaway,” an intensive self help seminar meant to scare the normal into him. He meets a no nonsense counselor named Della, who becomes his love interest. He convinces her to help him escape camp and go on a cross country road trip to the world’s largest snow cone before it melts.
Let me tell you, this movie was pure genius. I really identified with Bobby and his freakish ways. I didn’t identify with his family life, since my parents are also as odd as I am. But that really doesn’t matter. The movie was charming and I found myself rooting for Bobby and Della’s trek, as Bobby learned to understand normal people and Della learned to unleash the freak within.
The only problem was that Bobby wasn’t enough of a freak. Sure, he did odd things and wore garish clothing, but it was mild compared to real freaks such as myself and my family. Where were the shoes made out of soap or the attempts to start a honey business by dressing as a bee and stealing a hive? But I can live with the Hollywood version of a freak if the movie’s compelling enough. And this one was. Good job, Freak Studios.
Hope the DVD has lots of extras…
That’s the great thing about fake movies. You can invent your own extras and not be stuck with a boring commentary and a couple of outtakes.
Gee, Car, I hold you in such high esteem I totally forgot this is a non-existent movie…
So………
I really liked the extra about how hard the storyboarding was for the writer and director.
And, the extra about the difficulty of lighting during the night scenes had me spellbound.
Car, you odd and a freak? I can’t possibly imagine anyone thinking of you as odd and a freak. Who would’ve thought?
I’m quite proud of my freakosity. Maybe something got lost in freaklation if you don’t see me as the wonderful freak I am.
Oh I certainly recognized it all right Car.