Voting Time! Contest for the World’s Stupidest Business Ideas

The contest for the world’s stupidest business idea is now over and you guys get to vote for the winner! Post which business idea you think should win in comments below and on November 29th, I’ll announce who got the most and second most votes.

 

First, from Palemoon Twilight

I would like to start a very unique business that would cater to the discriminating connoisseurs of every kid’s favorite sandwich meat: peanut butter. Consider: Though it may be a favored result of crushed legumes found in pantries around the world, how often you find that last bit of sandwich that you just can’t swallow because your glass of milk is empty. Into the garbage it goes! Such a waste.

We have an answer that has plagued peanut butter lovers for centuries. What to do with that last bit of sandwich? Now you can simply drop it into our handy PB self-mailing bag, along with your empty jars of peanut butter, your stale peanut butter cookies, squished peanut butter cups, your expired peanut butter cracker snacks, and so on, and drop it into your local postal box. We will recycle your peanut buttery goodness and put it into one of our superb, custom made Boyle jars, and return it to you. All for a modest monthly payment of just $29.95! That’s less than a dollar a day! Think of it. You will be able to enjoy your recycled peanut butter on bread, in cookies, with celery…whatever your peanut butter poison, we’ve got you covered.

Logon today and sign up for your own account. Visa and Master Card accepted.
http://stickybusiness.nut

– Palemoon Twilight

 

Second, from C.M. Clark

I was watching the news the other night about the man that was dressed as a superhero getting arrested. So my bussiness idea would be to try and find away to bring all of these men and women together and see what kind of business we could create with fake superheros.

 

Third, from Jennifer Oberth

Ever have a really stressful day? Have a fight with your partner? Carry around too many groceries or laundry baskets? Do you yearn for a relaxing massage but just don’t feel like taking your clothes off for a stranger to put their hands all over you?

Well, have I got the service for you.

Introducing, for the first time ever, the Cat Back Massage. That’s right, we’ve got cats of all weights and sizes to walk those kinks out of your neck and back! No need to feel self conscious under our feline friends. They’re non-judgmental and won’t talk your ear off so you can feel truly liberated and take a catnap while they work their paws to the bone for you.

For a limited time only, we’ll throw in fifteen minutes of purring for free. Feel that vibration and get rid of those sore, achy muscles.

Extra fee for declawed cats.

Sign up now – spaces are filling up fast!

Get voting! Tell the world, or at least this blog, what idea you think would top all the stupid business ideas in the universe! (I’m sure aliens have some really dumb business ideas, too.)

The Adventures of Apathy Man – A story my mother used to tell me

I thought I’d post another of Mother’s bedtime stories.

The Adventures of Apathy Man

Once there was a man named Don Giveacrap, a bored slacker who mooched off his roommates and lamented the state of his life while eating potato chips and playing video games. Poor Don had been born without Enthusiastium, an important protein that gave most people the ability to have fun.

Everything filled Don with weary boredom, from brushing his teeth to blowing up mailboxes with his unstable cousin Ted. He yawned through action movies and slept during football games and spent his last minutes of virginity listening to a book on tape about the mating habits of dung beetles. Don just didn’t… well, give a crap. He couldn’t.

He shuffled through life with a sigh, content to wallow in his boredom. In fact, he started to wallow so much that he built up a stock pile of apathy that would shoot from his fingers whenever he pointed at people. Anyone he happened to point at would immediately lose interest in what they were doing and wander off. This caught the attention of a group of superheroes, The Justice Fighters of Northern Oregon. They were on the lookout for a new hero to join their ranks after Unstable Backstabber Boy decided to become a super-villain.

They gave Don the name of Apathy Man and offered him a dull gray latex costume to match his lack of spunk. “Your power will save countless lives,” Lacrosse Lad told him. “Just think. All the super-villains in the world, brought down by sudden malaise.”

Don just shrugged and reached for his soda, accidentally pointing at the Justice Fighters of Northern Oregon and causing them to wander off and apply for jobs at the local DMV. Don yawned and went back to playing his video game, which he found incredibly boring, despite the constant explosions and beheadings.

And so ends the adventures of Apathy Man, the world’s dullest superhero.