Rent a Giraffe – my new business venture

I’ve decided to start a giraffe renting company. If came to me the other day, when I was driving to the store. The streets were clogged with traffic from some accident. As my car inched along, I thought, ‘this would be better with a giraffe.”

Imagine riding a giraffe around town, stepping around and over traffic. You’d never have to stop for gas again, as the giraffe would refuel at trees planted on the side of the road. Plus, think of all the people who’d look at you and say, “Awesome, that dude’s riding a freaking giraffe!” or if they’re more refined, “Marvelous, that dapper chap is ridding a Giraffa camelopardalis.” Either way, they’ll think you’re innovative yet sophisticated, with a bit of flair.

Riding a giraffe will improve your love life, your business prospects and your social standing. If you show up on a date in a giraffe, you can bet there will be another in the future. There’s nothing more romantic and exciting than traveling by giraffe back. Do you think your boss will look you over for that promotion if you show up to work on a giraffe? Nothing says quick thinking and reliable like showing up for work on the back of a wild animal. And the whole world looks highly on a man brave enough to use a giraffe for transportation. Soon, you’ll be invited to parties you never new existed and hobnobbing with celebrities, trading the latest in giraffe related gossip.

There’s one problem with my giraffe renting enterprise. I have no giraffes.

So, I’m in the market to buy giraffes. Does anyone know where I can get some cheap giraffes, preferably in bulk?