I decided to make a milkshake out of whatever I could find in my refrigerator. I forgot to go shopping and so I only had a few items and most were not traditionally considered milkshake material. That was fine with me, as growing up eating mother’s cooking has left me with a taste for less conventional fare.
So, while this is just a regular meal for me, it will be a great prank for everyone who isn’t brave enough to open their palette to ketchup mixed with strawberry jam.
First take some ketchup, milk, bacon fat, strawberry jam, maple syrup, and a bottle of bottled iced tea.
Get out a food processor or blender and add a bit of bacon fat.
Add some of the jelly.
Then add a generous squirt of ketchup.
Now it’s time for the syrup.
Don’t forget the milk.
Add a nice splash of iced tea.
And blend it all together.
Doesn’t that look pretty? Now you can offer it to your friends and family, especially after a hot day when they’re really thirsty and anticipating a cool treat.
I bet you’d like to see me take a drink of this concoction, but as I am a fictional character I cannot. But I made my creator take a taste. She’s not too happy with me right now.
Here’s a nice and easy recipe for moochers.
Quick Recipe for Moochers
1 home of a close friend or relative
1 hug per member of household
1 sad face
Head over to the home of your chosen close friends or relatives. Say, “Surprise!” and “Miss me?” then precede to parcel out hugs to each person. Continue to make conversation while slowly making your way into the kitchen.
Put on sad face and let marinate for a few minutes before heading for the refrigerator. The sad face will elicit the sympathy needed to allow access to the food within. Finally, use two hands to grab some food and prepare it in whatever way you prefer.
Food selection will vary by availability and season.
Here’s a recipe that my mother invented after wanting to combine dinner with dessert and a drink. The only way I can describe this wonderful masterpiece is that it’s like a bean burrito, a marshmallow pie and a glass of lemonade broke into your mouth and trashed the place like drunken hockey players.
Most people seem to think my mother’s cooking is a little “odd,” but that’s just because they’re still stuck in culinary shackles that puts flavors and ingredients into neat little boxes. Be brave and allow yourself to experience the joy of Lemonade Beanmallow Casserole.
Lemonade Beanmallow Casserole
1 can of re-fried beans
1 can of salsa
2 cups of marshmallow fluff
1 package of lemonade powder
1 cup water
Mix beans, salsa and marshmallow fluff in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave covered for five minutes. Add lemonade powder and water, then stir briskly for one minute. Serve in a bowl.
This hearty meal will be the highlight of any dinner, at least it is whenever Mother serves it during family get-togethers. Try it out and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed!
My mother’s recipe for her famous Chocolate Tang Beef Casserole
1 lb ground beef
3 Cups orange flavored Tang
2 Cups chocolate syrup
1/2 Cup pureed anchovies
2/3 Teaspoons butter
Preheat oven to 400◦
Melt butter in a skillet and sauté Tang, beef and chocolate syrup for fifteen minutes, then place in casserole dish. Blend anchovies until smooth and smear on top of casserole. Bake for thirty minutes, then let set for ten.
Mother used to serve this on cold Winter nights. We’d all sit around, commenting on our day and trying to impress father with our gopher impersonations. Mother’s cooking will always have a special place in my heart and my lower intestinal tract, but that’s another story entirely. I hope this recipe becomes as beloved to you as it is to me and maybe one of these days I’ll post Mother’s onion lemon brownies. Yum!:)