Here’s another review of a movie that doesn’t exist:
Title: How High Is My Beehive?
Genre: Musical Action
Julie Pinkerton: Madonna
Stacy Gaines: Kim Kardashian
Fred Smith: Himself
How High Is My Beehive starts off with two girls Julie and Stacy and one fashion forward man named Fred trying to outdo each other in having the biggest hair. Fred’s starting to lose his hair and only has one more chance to win the group’s coveted “Super Do” title. He ends up stealing a can of experimental hair spray from a spoiled rich girl, who happens to be the daughter of a powerful mob boss. The trio end up on the run from mafia hit men, who stop at nothing to get their prey. They must fight for their lives with only the blunt force trauma of their rock hard hair to help them.
The movie was a little long because of the random musical numbers scattered throughout, but they gave the movie more depth than the typical hair based mafia flick. “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow,” was my personal favorite. It happened just after Fred realized that he was starting to go bald and made me really feel for him and his hair troubles. The line, “My hair was there, does no one care?” just about broke my heart.
I’d recommend this movie to anyone who likes musical action movies about hair obsessed thirty-somethings. But since it doesn’t exist, my recommendation is worthless.