Health Grannie Attacks!!!!!!!!

I recently posted a story about a health genie grandma who forced kids to eat healthy. I’ve decided to turn her into a mascot for parents to use when their kids refuse to eat their vegetables, or shun their casserole.  Introducing:

The Health Grannie!

Eat healthy, boys and girls. You wouldn’t want to make the Health Grannie mad, would you?

Doesn’t she just inspire you? I’m sure kids will look at this picture and dream of her chasing them with a tray full of carrots. I bet the little tykes will never put another pea or piece of liver under their napkin again.

It’s Been a Long Time – And It’s All Because of Instant Shoes

Sorry for not posting here in so long. I ended up on a nearly three month tour as the mascot for my cousin Rina’s new product, Instant Shoes. It was an awesome spray on shoe that came in multiple colors and styles. She picked me to be her mascot, Shoey and even made me a shoe costume to wear while I sang about Instant Shoes and what a great new invention they were.

Rina worked me day and night, which made it impossible to get online to update the blog, not to mention the fact that she forced me not to have any contact with the outside world, so I could fully immerse myself in the Shoey character. Shoes aren’t very sociable, you see.

It was fun and I really enjoyed being a part of such a great product. Unfortunately, it turned out that Rina’s spray was not really suitable for footwear and so the whole business plan collapsed out from under us. Rina didn’t have any use for Shoey anymore and I couldn’t keep going across the country, singing and dancing in parking lots, without the backing of an actual product. I tried that before and it only got me chased from town by the local police. So, I packed up my costume and headed back home and the life I left behind.

But since it was such a good product, I’ve decided to share the lyrics to the Instant Shoe song Rina had me sing:

You’re in a bind, and you can’t find,

Those shoes you thought you had.

The floor is rough, the going’s tough

And what’s that? Oh my god, hot sand!

Do you need a hand?

No, you need a shoe!

But not just any shoe will do!

Instant Shoe, oh Instant Shoe!

Just spray it on and go!

Instant Shoe, oh Instant Shoe!

The cure to no shoe woe!

Well it’s good to be back and I hope you’ve all had fun these past months. And remember, if you want to create a spray on shoe, make sure you don’t use something that washes away in the rain.