The proper etiquette of attending a funeral can be confusing, so I’ve made a handy list of several things you should avoid doing when honoring a loved one.
What Not to Do at a Funeral
- Do not come dressed in sweats, pajamas or any type of bunny suit.
- Do not offer to say something about the deceased and then use your time in front of the mic to practice your standup routine.
- Do not throw your voice and make it seem like there’s a tiny “Help me, help me,” coming from the casket.
- Do not climb onto the casket and reenact Leonardo DiCaprio’s “King of the world” scene from Titanic.
- Do not take out your cellphone and play the song “Baby Got Back” because you feel it would be a better soundtrack than the piano they have playing.
- Do not eat your lunch during the service, then toss your trash in the casket, even if the deceased was really passionate about recycling.
- Do not attempt to preform your own cremation service with a bottle of brandy and a blowtorch.
- Do not toss coins in the hole after the coffin is lowered down. It’s wishing well, not wishing grave.
- Do not toss up clay pigeons if there is a 21 gun salute.
- Do not open the casket, pull the body out and attempt to use it like a ventriloquist dummy.
Of course, I am exempt from these, since I can and have pulled off all of the things on this list. But it takes a certain type of charisma to buck social trends, which is why I recommend that most people play it safe when it comes to serious life events such as funerals.
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