I’ve created a new board game, called Drink! It’s a game about drinking, where you move a figure around a board and take a drink whenever you land on a yellow D square. When everyone makes it to the end, they all drink even more. It’s a fun game where everyone wins, because everyone gets to Drink! until they burst.
I conceived, developed and produced Drink! all while drunk. I woke up upside down in the park, with the game board on my laptop and a vague recollection of creating it while dressed only in orange flip flops and my grandfather’s old fedora. I no longer had the flip flops when I woke up.
In keeping with the spirit of booze induced creativity, the rules of Drink! are flexible. You start out with a board and a single die, plus whatever you want to use for pieces. Each person tosses the die and moves that amount, drinking when they land on a D. The rest is up to you. After a few drinks, you might want to add a rule that everyone has to shave part of their body before each move, or that you should smash your heads into the wall after every game. Or you could just decide to get drunk and use the board as a makeshift parachute.
Remember, Drink! is the game where drinking’s the game.*
Drink! the board game (Do not literally drink the board game. It is not liquid.)
*Note: Car is not a real person. Because of that, he can do things that would cause serious injury or police involvement to most other people. If you decide to actually use Car’s board game, there is no guarantee that it will work out in your favor.
Ah the holidays, a time for sitting around the fire, singing songs and exchanging gifts. For eating ham and basking in your parent’s love, while everyone shares the joy of the season.
Yeah, well… Some people have families that aren’t quite Hallmark snapshots. As my gift to you this holiday season, I am offering a drinking game that will make things a lot more tolerable and interesting. I’m making this as generic as possible, since my family is a bit… odd when it comes to normal holiday traditions. My next few posts will be about the more unique aspects of my family’s holiday celebrations. For now, enjoy my gift to you.
Holiday Drinking Game for Dysfunctional Families
Take one drink every time:
- A family member makes a comment about why you aren’t married yet.
- A family member sneaks in a disparaging comment about your career choice.
- A family member talks nonstop about their recent surgery.
- A family member constantly brags about their kid.
- A family member gives anyone “the look.”
- A family member finds something negative about every piece of good news.
Take two drinks every time:
- A family member turns every conversation into a chance to talk about themselves. “You just got a promotion at the Shoe World Enterprises? Speaking of shoes, I just bought the cutest pair.”
- A family member looks over at the children’s table and states, “It sure would be nice if you had something to contribute there.”
- A family member uses the festivities to announce some drastic bit of news. “Guess what? I’m going to shave my head and join a cult!”
- A family member asks for a receipt after opening a gift.
- A family member gives exercise equipment or a gym membership as a gift.
Take three drinks if:
- A family member starts a food fight.
- A screaming match breaks out.
- A family member storms off in tears, smashing decorations as they go.
- The police end up involved. “No officer, that’s not blood, it’s cherry syrup.”
- The party ends at the emergency room.
- A family member ends up drunk, naked and swinging from a strand of holly. (Note: This may be you after playing this game.)