I had the strangest dream last night.
First, I met a snail.
He said he was a magical snail, but I didn’t believe him. He looked more like a freaky dude with a balloon for a head. “Come to me Car,” he said, as if knowing my name would make me trust a talking snail. So, I told him to shove it and left him slowly trying to catch up to me.
Then I met a woman. Well, I met a woman’s head. That hung in the sky and had hair that grew into mountains and a freaky snake boy.
I couldn’t tell if she was supposed to be a representation of my mother or just all the spicy chicken wings I had last night, but I didn’t want to find out, especially not with the freaky eye floating next to her. She didn’t even say anything. She just floated there with her crazy hair and smiled serenely.
Well, I thought this dream couldn’t get any weirder, but then I met… well, whatever it was.
Creepy faces made by a bird puking out a string and one of the faces puking out what made the bird. I mean, my dreams don’t always make sense, but these were strange, even for me. The faces started singing about the stuffed bear I had when I was five and the bird asked me for a smoke. Well, I answered by waking the hell up.
So that ends the retelling of my freaking dream. Maybe next time it’ll have killer robots.