Jennifer Oberth’s Music Video!


Jennifer Oberth won a contest on my blog for the world’s stupidest business idea. Part of her prize was a custom music video written and sang in the style of Car Johnson. She chose to have the song about her character Ella Westin, part of the Ella Westin Mysteries.

Palemoon Twilight and C.M. Clark are still owed personalized lyrics. Please comment here and tell me what you want the lyrics to be about.

Lyrics:

Ella, don’t you yella
You’re just swella
Can’t you tella?

You solve crime
All the time
Even on your wedding day
You love your man
And have a plan
To make sure that he’s okay

Ella, don’t you yella
You’re just swella
Can’t you tella?

In law’s still a buccaneer
If you believe what you hear
About his shady deals
But he’s fun and a good guy
And you know that’s no lie
So ask him out for a beer

Ella, don’t you yella
You’re just swella
Can’t you tella?

You’re tough and strong
And that ain’t wrong
You really are a sight
So go kick some ass
But not with shards of glass
Because that just ain’t right

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Another Cow Fetus Country Song


I just love country music. Once again, please don’t hold my Northern California soul against me. Country is like a parasite that lodged itself in my brain. Country and I are like peas and whipped cream. (If you haven’t tried peas and whipped cream together, you should come over to my mother’s house. She makes a mean batch.)

This song is shorter than my last, but it’s packed full of good old country punch:

Cow Fetus Picnic

Oh, bring out the corn, bring out the bread,
Cow fetuses can have fun, even though dead.
Let’s fling some horseshoes, let’s not have a care,
Hold your cow fetus straight up in the air!
Their skin is preserved, their jars are sturdy,
Don’t ya’ll think these bovines are purdy?
And if you don’t, we don’t give a hoot,
This picnic is for cow fetus lovers and we’ll give you the boot!

I hope you like it and I’ll be sure to bring you more country song lyrics in the future, some not even about cow fetuses. “The Cold Coffee Blues” is one of my favorites.

Cow Fetuses Need Love Too Music Video


I’ve done it! I finally put my precious country song about the lonely road of a cow fetus collector on YouTube!

I hope this will kick start my country music career. I may be from Northern California, but I’m so country, I have my own continent. So, please enjoy my video and I apologize about my voice. If you keep the volume down enough, it won’t peel the paint on your walls, but it may cause small children and animals to wail uncontrollably.