How To Bake a Cake In Twenty Five Easy Steps – For The Baking Challenged

I’ve developed a guide on preparing dessert for those of us who are “baking challenged.”


  1. Get baking mix from shelf.
  2. Clean up baking mix and get second box that wasn’t already opened.
  3. Open box with trusty pocket knife.
  4. Clean wound created by trusty pocket knife.
  5. Pour contents of box into bowl.
  6. Add egg to bowl.
  7. Take egg out and crack it, then re-add to bowl
  8. Pick shell fragments from bowl.
  9. Search for spoon in cabinet, find out all spoons are used.
  10. Take dirty spoon from sink and hope no one notices.
  11. Mix content in bowl until your hand feels like you hit it repeatedly against a wall.
  12. Get out electric mixer.
  13. Spend ten minutes untangling clothing from electric mixer.
  14. Go back to using spoon.
  15. Pour batter into cake pan.
  16. Remember you were supposed to grease pan.
  17. Try to move batter with spoon and spray cooking spray underneath.
  18. End up with batter swimming in grease.
  19. Remember to pre-heat oven and wait, while batter soaks up even more grease.
  20. Put pan in oven.
  21. Wait.
  22. Wait too long.
  23. Turn off oven and open windows to let smoke out.
  24. Take out greasy, burned cake and throw away.
  25. Serve doughnuts instead.