The Potato Prank – A guide to tricking people into thinking you have a magical talking potato


Here’s a guide to my famous potato prank. If you follow each step, this prank is foolproof and will delight and terrify anyone you decide to trick.

The Potato Prank

  1. Get a potato. (This should be self evident, but I don’t want to leave this step out, since you might attempt this prank while potato-less, which would defeat the whole purpose of the prank.)
  2. Place the potato on a table. The table should have a long tablecloth that reaches to the floor. The tablecloth can be any color, but I personally prefer a solid color and not some gaudy flowery nonsense you only see in you grandmother’s house, mostly covered in dust.
  3. Hide under the table. Make sure there are no dogs sleeping under the table as they might wake up during the prank and start humping your leg.
  4. Wait until you hear someone enter the room. Carefully peek under the tablecloth until you see them come near the table.
  5. Start talking in a deep voice and say things like, “I am the grand potato. Feel my starchy wrath!” Or maybe “The land of Tuber will no longer stand for the consumption of its kin!” Anything that sounds both potatoy and slightly menacing will do.
  6. Continue speaking even if the prankee seems to be doubtful of the talking potato. This is just them slipping into denial from fear of a spud initiated conversation. Evidence of this denial comes out in phrases such as, “Not this again,” and “Don’t you have anything better to do?” or even “Cut it out. I wasn’t tricked the first time.” These are all just ways of quieting the terror inside. The more they protest, the more you know the trick is working.
  7. The prankee will eventually leave the room or pull up the tablecloth in a vain attempt to search for hidden potato hordes. If they leave the room, rush out and yell, “Gotcha!” If they pull up the tablecloth, smile and yell, “Gotcha!”

If done correctly, this prank will always trick people, no matter how many times they’ve had it pulled on them. It’s the prank that keeps on pranking and will always bring joy and a bit of potato based fear to those you love (and maybe those you hate as well.)

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5 thoughts on “The Potato Prank – A guide to tricking people into thinking you have a magical talking potato

  1. I like this cartato prank. Do you ever make spud soup when the prank is finished? I used the word spud because i wasn’t sure if it’s potato, potahto or potatoe?

    • I don’t make soup right after using a potato in this prank because pretending to give a potato a voice and then eating the now pretend sentient foodstuff is a little creepy.

      • You have a point there. Guess one would sort of have to be a car-nnibal to eats ones spud character.

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