This post is dedicated to my self-help course, Carlightenment. I have also created a website for the course, called Carlightenment. (I could have called it something cool like Peanut Butter or Monkey Sweat, but I didn’t want to confuse people.)
Spontaneity, Innovation and Panda
*Why Panda? Because they’re cool. it also works as a metaphor for eating your way through the bamboo of life.
Dudes and girl dudes, young and not as young, you’re about to hear something that will change your life! I’m not talking about a magical genie like the one my cousin Joe claimed to find. I’m talking about Carlightenment, the self-help course, created by me, Car Johnson, for you, the good people of the world. Do you feel that the gum of life has been chewed and all that’s left is a wad stuck to the bottom of your shoe?
Well, that’s life for you. But with my course, you’ll learn to pick up that gum and continue chewing, while adding new flavor that’s way better than peppermint or cherry. The flavor of life can be anything. Why use cherry when you can use oyster?
That’s the goal of Carlightenment – to bring out the oyster in all of you. To not only dance to the beat of your own drummer, but your own one man band! How many of you have laughed in the face of death, while offering him a coupon for your scythe sharpening service? I have, even though it was a costume party and Death was really my mother. The point still stands. Laugh at death, giggle at expectations, lightly chuckle at the status quo!
How would you like more spontaneity in your life? Do you wish you could free your creative soul? How about just a bit more panda?
With my course, Carlightenment – Three Steps to a Better You Through Me, you’ll free yourself to the life you’ve always dreamed of. And I don’t mean the life you day dream about. I’m talking about real dreams, the kind you have after eating too many fried jalapenos.
You’ll learn how to leave your safe world behind and take risks, like wearing a shag carpet shirt when everyone else is strangled by cotton blends. Remember that fear that stopped you from insulting an angry bull, or starting a business for cat toupees? My course will let the part of your brain that yells “Go for it!” smother the part that yells “Stop!” in its sleep.