I’ve decided to start a giraffe renting company. If came to me the other day, when I was driving to the store. The streets were clogged with traffic from some accident. As my car inched along, I thought, ‘this would be better with a giraffe.”
Imagine riding a giraffe around town, stepping around and over traffic. You’d never have to stop for gas again, as the giraffe would refuel at trees planted on the side of the road. Plus, think of all the people who’d look at you and say, “Awesome, that dude’s riding a freaking giraffe!” or if they’re more refined, “Marvelous, that dapper chap is ridding a Giraffa camelopardalis.” Either way, they’ll think you’re innovative yet sophisticated, with a bit of flair.
Riding a giraffe will improve your love life, your business prospects and your social standing. If you show up on a date in a giraffe, you can bet there will be another in the future. There’s nothing more romantic and exciting than traveling by giraffe back. Do you think your boss will look you over for that promotion if you show up to work on a giraffe? Nothing says quick thinking and reliable like showing up for work on the back of a wild animal. And the whole world looks highly on a man brave enough to use a giraffe for transportation. Soon, you’ll be invited to parties you never new existed and hobnobbing with celebrities, trading the latest in giraffe related gossip.
There’s one problem with my giraffe renting enterprise. I have no giraffes.
So, I’m in the market to buy giraffes. Does anyone know where I can get some cheap giraffes, preferably in bulk?
Well, Cal Worthington always showed up for work on one of the many varieties of his Dog Spot. This could sort of be that way with a boss, but then Cal owned the company. That carparison being made, I wonder what Candy thinks of your gender discrimination of the world looking highly on a “man” who uses a giraffe to get around?
Now everyone can be Cal Worthington! As for man, it has a nice ring to it, while person is such a long work. We need to find a new word to use that incorporates men and women, but still sounds nice in a sentence. Maybe wan, woan or something entirely new, like earp. Yeah, earpkind sounds cool.
I don’t mind. With Car’s history, a few “mans” here and there are nothing. And I think earp would be a wonderful addition to the English language, though I think it should refer to the lint at the bottom of jeans pockets.
I have a contact in Denmark who’s looking for customers.
Seems he’s troubled by the actions of a couple zoos…
Maybe he could be persuaded to divert a few?
Cool! I need about one hundred for starters. Do you think he would be willing to send a few crates my way? I’ll pay for the bubble wrap.
Gee, Car, I don’t know…
Here’s his number: