Ah the holidays, a time for sitting around the fire, singing songs and exchanging gifts. For eating ham and basking in your parent’s love, while everyone shares the joy of the season.
Yeah, well… Some people have families that aren’t quite Hallmark snapshots. As my gift to you this holiday season, I am offering a drinking game that will make things a lot more tolerable and interesting. I’m making this as generic as possible, since my family is a bit… odd when it comes to normal holiday traditions. My next few posts will be about the more unique aspects of my family’s holiday celebrations. For now, enjoy my gift to you.
Holiday Drinking Game for Dysfunctional Families
Take one drink every time:
- A family member makes a comment about why you aren’t married yet.
- A family member sneaks in a disparaging comment about your career choice.
- A family member talks nonstop about their recent surgery.
- A family member constantly brags about their kid.
- A family member gives anyone “the look.”
- A family member finds something negative about every piece of good news.
Take two drinks every time:
- A family member turns every conversation into a chance to talk about themselves. “You just got a promotion at the Shoe World Enterprises? Speaking of shoes, I just bought the cutest pair.”
- A family member looks over at the children’s table and states, “It sure would be nice if you had something to contribute there.”
- A family member uses the festivities to announce some drastic bit of news. “Guess what? I’m going to shave my head and join a cult!”
- A family member asks for a receipt after opening a gift.
- A family member gives exercise equipment or a gym membership as a gift.
Take three drinks if:
- A family member starts a food fight.
- A screaming match breaks out.
- A family member storms off in tears, smashing decorations as they go.
- The police end up involved. “No officer, that’s not blood, it’s cherry syrup.”
- The party ends at the emergency room.
- A family member ends up drunk, naked and swinging from a strand of holly. (Note: This may be you after playing this game.)
Cartopia 
Whoot !! Great Game 🙂
It’s an even greater game if you use vodka.:)
Be sure of your liquor stocks before you start and it’ll be a great game!!
Yeah, running out of your family get together to go to the liquor store, after saying, “I need more booze to deal with you people,” is probably not a good idea.
Hmmm, I wonder if the Johnson family even needs an excuse to imbibe in a bit of holiday cheer.
I imbibed everyday. But the holidays are a special time. Beers tastes so much better when you’ve spiked it with eggnog, scotch, vodka and absinthe. But if you do that any other time of the year, people just see you as weird.
Reblogged this on Christopher De Voss and commented:
Hello Reblog Thursday. How are you?
Nothing says great times like Holidays, Family, and Egg Nog which is 90% Alcohol, and 10% Nog. Thank god the cavemen invented drinking games, and thanks to Cartopia you can ease your holiday woes with this version.
Ooooh, a reblog! Thanks for sharing my simple game to make families parties that much more tolerable and fun. 🙂
You’ve seen my relatives, hey?
I think most relatives are all cloned from an original batch of crazies.
I’m preparing my liver for the holidays.
I do that by doing daily exercises, mainly consisting of a funnel in my mouth and several bottles of various spirits.
Would love to be a fly on the wall!
I tried that once with a family across the street. I hid in the bushes with a pair of binoculars and one of those sound enhancing devices. For some reason, they didn’t appreciate it that much.
Sounds like a healthy way to spend an evening though!
Great idea! I will certainly be trashed by the end of this game and it will all probably end my tears, but hey, the numb portion of the day will be worth it!
And there’s the added bonus that you won’t remember any of it the next day. 🙂
Bloody Hell and there’s me thinking Twister was a struggle to play with family members
After this game, Twister becomes a fight to the death.
Killer Twister! now there’s a film for Stallone should make for our entertainment