Pickup Lines That Don’t Work For Some Reason


I’ve used a lot of pickup lines in my day. Here are some that didn’t quite work for some reason. I don’t know why, but I feel I have a duty to alert the public to these potential duds.

  • Let me be the sperm to your whale
  • Hey baby, I think I dropped my contact down your dress. Mind if I search for it?
  • Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like me?
  • How much for one night?
  • Are those two tumors on your chest or do you just have a really nice rack?
  • I seem to be stuck on this table. Could you please come get me off?
  • It’s like you smeared the blood of angels in your hair.
  • I’m dying of Notgetlaidistus and you’re the only one who can cure me.
  • You remind me of my mother.
  • Excuse me, but I’m starting a game of nude tango and need another player.
  • If you were a beer, I’d drain you dry.
  • If you were a sandwich, I’d split you open and pick out all your cheese.
  • I’m your ice cream, baby. Take me in your hands and let me melt.
  • I don’t usually date old chicks, but I’m willing to make an exception.
  • Would you be willing to lower your standards for just one night?
  • Let’s cut to the chase and do it.
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4 thoughts on “Pickup Lines That Don’t Work For Some Reason

    • Cougars work the other way around. They don’t like it when the prey attacks the hunter. And they especially don’t like being called old. They prefer, “well preserved.”

      I used that line on quite a few cougars before I figured that out.

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